Sometimes I'd rather make memories than money.

Hey there :)

So this post is going to be a lot more upbeat.

I've been really stressed over work and it's long hours. I haven't had any free time to do much of anything. I've also been becoming distant with friends since I've finished school early. So I'm getting in touch with everyone again, I miss my friends so much =[

My plans for the near future:

• Hang out with old friends
• Go to the movies with said friends
• Mini golfing
• 3D movies
• Bowling possibly
• Walking around town with friends
• Get out of the house as much as possible
• Work up until the end of Martock
• Spend more time with my Dad
• Go skiing
• Catch up on some much needed sleep
• Make sure my betta fishy is doing well

Things have been making a lot of sense lately. I've met new people in the past couple of months who are a m a z i n g people. I'm thankful to have the friends that I have. I'm a combination of all of them. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've had my ups and down recently, more ups though. I've become a lot more accepting to things that happen to me or around me. I guess it's all a part of growing up. Letting go of things you can't change, or things you have to let go of.

Right now, I'm focusing on getting my life back on track. I don't have too much time outside of work. I'm doing the next best thing! Making plans for when I'm not in work. Another month and Martock will be closed! I shall be unemployed and lacking of an income.. But.. I'll have more free time :) And some money for college in September.

Speaking of college, I don't think it's set in yet. The fear of not knowing what comes next.. Who I'm going to meet there.. the challenges I'm going to face.. the challenges I'll face living with my Dad.. I haven't lived with him since I was in grade 6. A hell of a lot has changed since then, and he doesn't know me that well to be honest because of him and mom getting divorced. It will work out though, I know it will. I'm ready for change. I'm ready for it.

It doesn't seem like I've lived in Windsor for that long really. But it's been almost 6 years.. I cannot believe it at all.. It's been really hard living with my mom and her boyfriend. It's been hard dealing with the fact that this man is not my father. I've always said that he cannot control me. But I keep my mouth shut, and do what he tells me to, which usually isn't much. Maybe like keeping the fire going? I do it for my mother. She's a woman who does not deserve to be treated badly. When I say rude things to him or ignore him, it's taken out on my mother. I avoid it as much as I can, because I hate seeing her hurt.

Other than that.. It's been interesting. I've spent most of those days in my room really. But I'm fine with that. I've avoided a lot of drama. :) I have a lot of time to travel the world, meet new people, and everything else in the years ahead. These years are only the beginning of the rest of my life. I can say that I am truly excited for change. Everything.

Even with everything going on around me, and being stressed out, I'm happy. It's been a while since I could completely feel alright with my life. It feels wonderful. It's a mix of emotions, colors, people, scenery.

I can't wait for everything ahead of me. All I know is I want to be surrounded by people who like me for who I am. I love the friends I have and I don't want to lose touch with them. They're my everything. They remind me of who I am, and they bring out the best in me. It's the greatest feeling being with them, I just need to do it a lot more often. :)

That's my post for now! Now back to blasting music!

Quotes

[ So here is some quotes I chose to post because they relate a lot to what I'm feeling lately. How I'm confused about friendships and whatnot. Time is moving by and everyone is changing, and I can't keep up. I don't want to keep up. If I have to keep changing to suit everyone else's needs, than I need to find a new way to live. I won't live up to everyone's standards, and I'm fine with that. I'll do some things that other people will find offensive or in other terms, illegal, and I'm fine with that. This is just the beginning. There are so many years ahead of me. So many memories still have yet taken place. There's people I have yet to meet. This isn't it. This is just the beginning. I wish everyone would realize that things are still going to change at this age.. at any age.. nothing is permanent. There is nothing to rely on at times but imagination, imagination lets you escape from the chaos in the world around you. I don't want to rely on other people. There are people I will let down, people I will hurt emotionally. But when those intense feelings of love dissapear, I don't want to live a lie. I want to be honest enough to myself and the other person that things don't always work out the way you thought they would. People change over time and that's something you have to accept. They will not change for you, they shouldn't have to. People should be expressive, honest, and true to themselves. There is nothing you HAVE to do, no one you HAVE to be. Everything is choice.. What you choose. how you choose to react in situations that you have to face. It's your life. That's what I tell myself. This is my life. This is just the beginning. ] - Chelsea Murray

To live in this world, you must be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go, let it go.

Sometimes a person has to let go because their fingers are too tired of holding on. They'll always love you though. No matter what.

to be betrayed by someone you loved that much-
you're just never the same.

"I loved you. And here's a news flash: you protected me from nothing. I spent time missing you, wondering what the hell I did wrong to make you do that to me. I thought everything was my fault. And even when I got over that, I still knew what I'd lost: you. You were the one who made me laugh when I had a crappy day. You were the one I vented to when I was mad, the one I shared all the good stuff with. You always knew when I was full of crap, and you always called me on it. You were smart, you were funny, you were good-looking. You were mine. And then, suddenly, you weren't. I knew every day exactly what I'd lost, and I missed you every day, and I believed in you every day, and my heart broke every day. That's the big favor you did for me. Thanks so much. Here's the kicker- you weren't even protecting me. You were protecting yourself. If you'd give half a thought to me, you would have said goodbye."

When people walk away from you, let them walk.
Don't try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you,
calling you, caring for you, coming to see you, or staying attached to you.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy and it's chaotic and it's never what you expect. It's okay to be scared but you can't let your fears turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

If a man takes the risk to cheat, he's saying 'this is worth losing her'.

There's a quickness in the way that things end. Sometimes when you're so happy, you can't help but wonder when things will change.

Sometimes skulls are thick.
Sometimes hearts are vacant.
Sometimes words don't work.
- James Frey

No one knows what the result will be when two people meet, and no one knows when they fall in love if they will always be able to stay that way; but to feel that at all, even for a minute, to find love and connection in a world gone mad, in my book, those are the lucky ones. And if it can't last forever, then the best they can hope for is the honesty to face up to it when it ends.

The sooner you realize things will never be the same again,
the sooner you can move on.

Parting is a joint decision, a person could not leave you if you were not willing to release them.

We can't keep getting this close just to have something completely derail us again.

I wanted to kiss him. But of course I didn't. I wondered why I resisted, when in the past I had always followed my impulse with not much thought of the consequences. Maybe because it didn't feel like a game with him, the way it had with so many others before. Maybe because I had more to lose.

You love somebody, and then you don't love them anymore. But if you really love somebody, you always love them, don't you? Isn't there always some small part of you that still reads their horoscope in the paper everyday?

And it's great to have somebody that you know so well that you don't even have to verbalize what you're thinking most of the time. The other person just gets it, picks up on it. And, it's like that with us. It's great, and I like it, but it's not love

Soo today was quite awesome..

Started off with a half a day of school,
classes sucked,
barely anyone showed up,
so the classes were just pointless.

I went and hung out with Ashley for the rest of the day,
haha hilarious.
I couldn't stop laughing today.
I'd post why but I don't know who else reads this lol.
We took lots of pictures!
They are amazing fer sure. xD

So, I'm going to the hockey game tomorrow,
most likely with Sydney & Jennifer, and Mitchell if he goes.
That will be kick ass,
the ones last year were really great.
I think it's more of the social aspect that is amazing.
The hockey is just another to go haha.

Dad's this weekend,
that shall be fun.
I don't know what we're doing yet,
It'll most likely involve me sitting in the car waiting for Dad to finish his appointments at his clients' houses. Meh. At least I get to be with Dad for a little bit.

That's all for now =]
Byeeeee.

Chelseaaaa.

Today!

Well today wasn't as amazing as yesterday.

I had an AWFUL morning,
mom had to leave early and she had to drive me to school,
so she decided to tell me we had to leave like long before I was ready,
so I was rushing around and angry. Childish I know lol.

Got to school.. hung out with Taylor for a bit,
then found Tasha and random people.
Still felt blah.

I had Canadian History first,
that was just a pointless frickin class.
We did nothing but watch this video about inuit people, and how the teens there kept committing suicide and sniffing glue. Lovely.

Then I had PAL. GAH!
That class was .. crap haha.

Double English.
Yeah well, we've been reading this Greek play called Oedipus Rex,
and I didn't understand it.. still don't..
We started this work sheet with questions about it,
I felt so stupid, I had no clue about anything.

Chemistry was okay..
test tomorrow though, I'm so going to fail it.
The stuff has been so confusing,
and I haven't gone in for extra help,
so I guess it's my fault lol.

Soon I am going to drive to Sobeys,
to get... water? Haha.
I like driving at night.. no one can see you mess up =]

Later, I think I'll play more DDR,
and then go for a jog on the path =]

That's my day/night that hasn't happened yet =O

I hope school gets better soon.
Everythings been just .. insane.
Homes making me stressed out.
I need people to hang out with or something,
being home is driving me nuts!

Chelseaaaaa.

What an interesting day.

I loved today.

Everything about it rocked.

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I missed yesterday,

so I went in today to see what I missed.

Turns out I didn't miss anything really haha.

That was nice, I hate catching up on work.

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I went paddling today with my PAL class =]

When we got there we had to key to open the building,

we had to wait ages for the woman to get there.

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After she unlocked the place we got our padles and life jackets,

my life jacket was very pointy and awkward lol.

Then, my group went to get a canoe,

(Me, Kaylyn, Kevin, Betty-Jo, & Jessica)

Only to find out that the canoes were chained together and locked.

Turns out no one had the key.

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The guys tried beating the hell outta the lock with a bar,

that didn't work.

So Kyle found a saw and started sawing the chain.

After a while he got it!

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Our group got our canoe and went to the dock.

We got in the canoe and started paddling.

The water was full of this nasty grass stuff,

the paddles kept getting stuck in it. So gross.

.

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It was pretty fun! We worked as a team to turn,

some of our turns were really scarey haha.

I did not want to fall in that lake,

I would have freaked!!

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One girl that was getting into her kayak fell in,

Hilarious.

Everyone was watching and was like, "OHHH!!!" haha.

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Then we all hung out and had lunch and such.

Bus ride was funny stuff.

We were waiting for Amanda and Jessie to get back to the bus,

they were late and we didn't know why.

Just as we were talking about them they came walking around the corner,

and an old man was with them (or behind them, couldn't tell),

so everyone started making up possibilities, so funny ah ha.

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So we got back to the school and got changed,

and then the teacher took us for a walk so half the class could go for a smoke.

It was really hot out so half of us sat on the hill and waited for the smokers to be done.

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After that I had English, we read this really good short story =]

Mr. Hudson is sooo my fav. teacher, he's so funny!

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Anyways, it was a great day!

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7 Days until I get my wisdom teeth taken out O__O

Evan's been bugging me about it haha.

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That's all for today =]

I hope tomorrow is just as good!

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Chelseaaaa <3

So, today I feel like crap,

I've got a cold or something.

I feel so dead haha.

Woke up every hour to blow my nose,

how attractive is that? xD

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Hoping I feel better for tomorrow,

I'm suppose to be going Paddling with my PAL class.

Should be fun if I feel better, a lot better.

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Everyone has been lying to each other in school,

guys are just stupid, so I won't get into that.

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I think I'm going to the Finger 11 & Sum 41 concert with Chantel,

that should be fun, if I can get the ticket, since we're like poor lately lol.

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I hope I'm not missing much at school today,

there's no way I'm going in today.

I look like crap and feel like crap haha.

Also my eyes keep tearing up v_v

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Stupid cold.

Well yes. . . that's all for now =]

Today

So I guess I will start posting a little blog each day.

Today was weird,
I didn't get enough sleep so I was pretty cranky.

Mom & Ashley & I went to a penny auction thing in the mall,
that was quite interesting haha.

Ashley & I had to clean up 'plastic' stuff and put it into a pile in the front of the house, that wasn't fun at all, it was actually making me angry haha.

Steve said that I'll have to be home around 6 tomorrow to help put siding and other random stuff out in front of our house onto a truck that is taking it to the garbage place, and I told him I couldn't go because I was going to go to the first football game of the season tomorrow at school. He told me I wasn't aloud to go because he said so.

I hate when he tries to control me, he's not my father therefore he has no right to tell me what I can and cannot do. Gah. I dislike him greatly. Mom wonder why I hate him, maybe it's because he comes home drunk almost every night and usually gets into a fight with mom and makes her cry, after a while I lost all respect for him, I mean it seems rude but what else can I do. I'm not going to pretend that's he's some nice guy when he isn't.

I drove to Ellershouse today.. to pick up my straightener from Jenna's place. I like driving but sometimes it gets really nerve wrecking haha. Got home safely thank god xD.

School tomorrow, oh what could be better, haha.

That's all for now.